respect-me R·U·L·E·S

We're glad you're here, although sorry abuse has found you. We do have solutions.

Abuse hurts. Whether it is cutting words, disrespectful gestures, unreasonable demands and accusations--it hurts.  Family and romantic relationships are meant to be nurturing and supportive. When verbal and emotional abuse rob one partner of the respect they deserve, for whatever reason, the wounding has to stop.

In order to restore sanity, balance, and love to a relationship, abuse has to stop.

It's the holidays and that can be rough in an abusive relationship. So here is an article that will give you tips for not accepting abuse this season. (Tip--take the tutorial or read the text first: Respect me Rules)

However, abuse doesn't stop because you are pitiful, because you are the victim, because someone rescues you, or because the law is on your side. It stops if and when you learn to demand respect from your partner. Yes YOU.  

You have three ways to help yourself:

1. Enroll in the FREE Verbal Abuse Defense Tutorial. Get started with changing the way you think about abuse.

2. Order Respect-Me Rules and begin to understand why you are not a victim but a target.

3. Get the dual workbook (one side for individuals, other side for group work) and complete all the lessons. This will give you practical experience (not just theory) in the things you must do to stop abuse. Respect Me Rules Workbook

Here is a quote from one of our hero women.

If you love yourself more, others love you more. Other people respect you as you respect yourself. I don't understand why this is such a secret. ~Anita Moorjani

AT LAST our Workbook in Verbal Abuse Defense is out! You can order Respect-Me Rules Individual & Group Workbook, Verbal Abuse Defense from Amazon or you can take advantage of our introductory offer for 25% OFF. Offer ends Jan 1.


One side of the work book is for your individual use and the other side is designed for support groups. You get two books in one! It includes a CD of both books so that you can print the worksheets for easier completion. The book retails for $20 and is suitable for starting a workshop or support group. Go to our Direct Sales store online to purchase and see the Institutional discounts.

Read these comments from visitors to this site.

Start with the book & workbook

No one can rescue you; you are going to have to rescue yourself. Start with the book of rules you will need to start respecting yourself. If you don't respect yourself, your partner likely won't either. But you can start today and teach your partner how you want to be treated--not encourage him or her to continue the abuse. Download the first 20 pages FREE. CLICK HERE. Then  order the book and it's companion workbook* today!

Change your victim words

Your power and your worth come from one place--within. This begins with the way you see yourself and if you want to change--STOP seeing yourself as a "victim". You are NOT a victim, survivor, or something to be pitied--you are a target who is going to learn how to STOP being anyone's target. Never refer to yourself as a "victim" again. You are a target or a winner, and you are strong. We show you how. 

Enroll in the Workshop

Learn the Respect-Me RULES. Begin the process with our FREE ONLINE WORKSHOP which is an introductory course on changing the dynamics of verbally abusive relationships. Once you earn your  Verbal Abuse Defense Certificate, you will be ready for the deeper work--the lasting work of applying these rules. This work is covered in the new workbook,*  which is the companion to Respect-Me Rules

* Workbook not available yet--will be out summer of 2013

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Comments from visitors to the site

Gina. June, 2015
Thank you! I got the book Respect Me Rules, and it has been so very helpful. I plan to read it regularly to remind myself what to look for and how to respond. Thanks again.

Susanne May 2015: Thank you so much! I have learned so much throughout this and your course was a great eye opener as well.

Jilly--May 2015 Thank you! I got the book Respect Me Rules, and it has been so very helpful. I plan to read it regularly to remind myself what to look for and how to respond. Thanks again.

Song April 2013: I believe there is a huge need for what you have discovered in how to handle emotional and verbal abuse. It was amazingly timely and divinely serendipitous to find your website. Thanks again, Song

Kathy T. Feb. 2013
Hello. I’ve come across your website and want to pursue your ideas on how to dodge being a target. I really like the distinction: target, not victim. I grew up in a dysfunctional family, and my mom was a victim. I mean, really, a victim, and I learned how to be one, too. I am well-educated, a retired public affairs specialist, normally happy, and am fortunate to be healthy, too. So I’m not having to deal with limitations as far as leaving if I decide to do so. I’ve been married for 34 1/2 years. I love the guy but don’t like him a good deal of the time lately. I have fallen into a funk. Even looking around things look monochromatic. So, it’s time to learn some new ways of coping. Thank you for your help.

Jessica July 2012 (TX)
This site has been tremendously helpful. I have in my relationships, experienced all forms of abuse. Emotional and verbal abuse is BY FAR the hardest to recover from. No one can see the bruises to know that I needed help... THey just saw this cool guy that I was married to... Such a lucky girl. Cops are notorious for being abusive to their spouses and the spouses don't know where to turn... The cops are friends with their abuser. Where do you turn? But there is very little information to be found on how to deal in this touchy situation, so thank you! (read Jessica's story here)

Dana August 2011
     It's been two years since I woke up to his abuse. I still cannot function. I have panic attacks about leaving my house out of fear of running into him or his friends. I stay armed with something at all times. I was victimized for almost two years and didn't realize it. I just wanted him to love me.
     Little did I know that all he loved was the sex. He has ruined my reputation and my integrity. He has posted what I thought were intimate photos and videos for us only on the internet and shared them with his friends and mine including relatives. I have filed a restraining order and complained to his off-site supervisor. I know he is doing this to other women as well and they are feeling just like me.
     The worst thing is that I cannot go outside my house. He rides by my house at all hours. I am not physically afraid of HIM...rather I am afraid of what I will do TO him if he comes near me. This is driving me crazy and my daughter needs ME..not this person I have become. ~from Dana in MS
     Hi, I was reading this article and realized I was doing this to my wife.  I do not know how to communicate well mainly due to my child hood exposure to abuse and my dad didn't set a very good example.  I was exposed to this early on in my marriage and didn't know how to handle it.  I retaliated with likewise behavior. That didn't solve anything. I have been trying to analyze and understand what went wrong. Now I know and will use the principles to better my marriage. Thank you so much.  Dan


     Dear Shelly,   WOW. The tutorial was very informative. I am glad that I read it... for reasons too numerous to list.
     Glad that you included the links, but most of all actions. I have the site bookmarked and will share it with others.
     Wishing you a peaceful and fulfilling day, M

    This was truly amazing! I hadn't realized how I had let every kind of abuse creep into my 20 year marriage.  I see now that it's me allowing these things to continue and that the more I show him my love for him, the more I'm giving my blessing to this increasingly cruel nonsense!  No more.  Thankyou so much for helping me see beyond the "episodes" that, thru my denial and fear have become an expected part of my daily life.  I have a long way to go... but I feel FREE already!

Already you have helped me by saying, "You are a target, not a victim". All the professional help I've received so far either a/ just says that I'm an accomplice in the role playing or b/ that I'm in a terrible situation, a victim, what can be done?
     So I like your way of perceiving it. And believe me, I really need any help I can get (verbal abuse for over quarter of a century).  Best wishes, CC NEW: downolad


Download the first 20 pages FREE. CLICK HERE

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respect-me R·U·L·E·S
(Note: cover art may vary according to the retailer. but it is the same great book inside.)

or go to Direct Sales to order both the text and workbook for a $10 off coupon.

Read this review on  Metapsychological 

Review by Kumari de Silva