Abuse hurts.

Whether it is cutting words, disrespectful gestures, unreasonable demands and accusations--it hurts. Family and romantic relationships are meant to be nurturing and supportive. When verbal and emotional abuse rob one partner of the respect they deserve, for whatever reason, the wounding has to stop

RULE ONE: Replace Victim Words. Your power and your worth come from one place--within. This begins with the way you see yourself. If you want to change--STOP seeing yourself as a "victim." You are NOT a victim, survivor, or something to be pitied--you are a target who will learn to STOP being anyone's target. Never refer to yourself as a "victim" again. You are a target or a winner, and you are strong. We show you how.

Are you in an
abusive relationship?

You can turn this relationship around but it is YOU that has to change. You won't change them. Are you ready?

  • It is going to take time, energy, committment
  • You must stop being a victim
  • You will learn and apply the Miracle Principle

Verbal Abuse Defense

FREE Online Workshop. The Verbal Abuse Defense Tutorial is designed to change the way you see abuse. You have nothing to lose, but humiliation, dependency, and fear.

The Books That Teach You How

Use the Respect-Me Rules set and begin to understand why you are not a victim but a TARGET. You can order both the Text Book and the Workbook as a package for $21.99. SAVE $6

Don't want to Wait?

Download the workbook only for $5.99 and complete all the lessons in conjunction with the online turtorial. This will give you practical experience (not just theory) in the things you must do to stop abuse.

Preview the Text Here

Amazon Prices: Paperback $12.99/Kindle $5.99

No one can rescue you; you are going to have to rescue yourself. Start with the book of rules you will need to start respecting yourself. If you don't respect yourself, your partner likely won't either. But you can start today and teach your partner how you want to be treated--not encourage him or her to continue the abuse. After reading the Text, begin on the work book and the online tutorial at the same time. This workbook is in two parts, the first is the workbook for individuals and the second is the group lessons. You can go through the lessons yourself, then use section two to begin a community support group.

Join the Resepct-Me RULES Blog

Every comment you make at this blog helps others. Please take a minute to click through to the blog and make at least 2 comments about your experiences or thoughts.

What our Readers Tell Us

If you love yourself more, others love you more. Other people respect you as you respect yourself.
don't understand why this is such a secret.
~Anita Moorjani

Name withheld (from a psychologist), I am a psychologist myself (Phd in clinical). I am trained to be a therapist but am not a therapist (I do research), so what I am about to write is somewhat informed, but I am behaving as though I know nothing. For anyone reading My Story., I urge all of the targets to use the workshop this site offers and rehearse it often. This is the best one I've seen, since I believe their point of view is really important. .

Jilly writes, Thank you! I got the book Respect Me Rules, and it has been so very helpful. I plan to read it regularly to remind myself what to look for and how to respond. Thanks again.

Kathy T. writes Hello. I've come across your website and want to pursue your ideas on how to dodge being a target. I really like the distinction: target, not victim. I grew up in a dysfunctional family, and my mom was a victim. I mean, really, a victim, and I learned how to be one, too. I am well-educated, a retired public affairs specialist, normally happy, and am fortunate to be healthy, too. So I'm not having to deal with limitations as far as leaving if I decide to do so. I've been married for 34 1/2 years. I love the guy but don't like him a good deal of the time lately. I have fallen into a funk. Even looking around things look monochromatic. So, it's time to learn some new ways of coping. Thank you for your help.

Laura C. writes, Please send me the tutorial. My therapist wanted me to check out and complete the tutorial. Thanks!!

Peggy: I found that your techniques to stop the abuse were great!

Kathleen, Fought back for years, so lots of ugly fights. Learning to not react, but it's slow. I understand and excuse, apologize and seek peace. Have worn waterproof mascara for years. I am a nurse,co-dependent, sick of the eggshell walking. Thank you, just now learning to have my own life. Makes him crazy! Learning I have been volunteering for this position, not hopelessly trapped.

Dan writes Hi, I was reading this article and realized I was doing this to my wife. I do not know how to communicate well mainly due to my child hood exposure to abuse and my dad didn't set a very good example. I was exposed to this early on in my marriage and didn't know how to handle it. I retaliated with likewise behavior. That didn't solve anything. I have been trying to analyze and understand what went wrong. Now I know and will use the principles to better my marriage. Thank you so much.

Lynn P from PA. My therapist recommended this site and I am looking forward to getting started with the tutorial. THANKS!