I would like to share this poem I wrote the night I left my verbally abusive husband. It was the only way I could get my feelings out.
The beginning was sweet and loving,
You did so much for me.
You pampered, cuddled and soothed me,
then proposed on bended knee.
Flowers, presents, "I love you's"
seemed to fall right from the sky.
You promised never to hurt me
or make me say goodbye.
My knight in shining armor said
"You're beautiful," the day we wed.
Never again did you say those words
for fear of inflating my head.
I gave you beautiful babies
and loved you heart and soul.
But something slowly changed in you
and you left me feeling low.
I tried and tried to please you,
but never was it enough.
I thought I was a failure
and love was supposed to be this tough.
The words you said in private
no one else would hear.
I thought maybe I was crazy
others thought you so dear.
The put downs, yelling and screaming
made my body sick.
I felt trapped in a time bomb
counting down to its last tick.
Our babies scared and crying
finally made me see
that no one ever deserves this
especially them or me.
So now I must say goodbye
to a love I thought was gold.
My heart is crying mournfully
because together we should've grown old.
I checked to see if your site was still here tonight. It's been over 2 years since I used this place to learn and finally know that what my husband was doing to me was NOT RIGHT. After 10 years of marriage, I knew that I had to leave for my own mental health and so my son would not repeat the pattern of his father.
I wrote the poem published " Goodbye " that is still on here. I am Jennifer. When I look at my poem now, I see how much agony I was in. Weak, scared, but yet determined to end the abuse.
I am now divorced and have custody of my children. Please, others who are suffering now- I know how dark and helpless you feel. You may worry that leaving will leave you poor and even worse. Those things I felt too. The road will not be paved of gold and there's much climbing to do but I want you to know that I am now a happy person. I made it. Struggled when I left financially, but I was finally in charge of my own self!! It was worth all the money in the world to be the strong, happy, confident person I was before him. Thanks for making this site- IT PROBABLY SAVED MY LIFE!!